The past has passed!!!!!

14/04/2008 I wrote this in my diary.

I just can't wait to start my new life.
I just can't wait to tell myself that I'm a professional.
Things go. Time flows. And I've grown up.
Context of my life has changed.
Also, I'm stronger.
Now, I can deal with problems as a rpofessional artist.
Chapters of life is just a lesson.
Why not? Just go.
Deal with it as a grown-up.
Abandon my weakness and don't fear to face the storm.
I am a professional dancer.
I am an artist.
I am a seeker.
My spirit is going on and on.
It keeps growing up.
Don't forget.
Be professional!!!

Well, how did it go after that?
Have my bone broken, right?
How did I deal with that?
Did I cope with it as a professional artist?
I'm not so sure now.
I was too weak. I mean my mind.

My eyes are sparkling while I'm talking about dance.
It's reasonable as it was such a happy moment
...wandering through those memories.
Perth and Hong Kong, they made my life changed a lot.
But, it just a memory....MEMORY....
I can't turn back to the ghost of past.
The past has passed!!!

Thank God that the 2 parts of me aren't fighting to each other now.
I'm quite what I don't want in my life.
It's very diferrent from knowing what I want.
However, I don't know how can I keep away from the things I don't want.

strong

Where was I?
Should I go back?
Now or never.

Thanks to that word.
Thanks for your desire.
I'll go back en pointe again...no matter how hard it is.

Last night I started doing it again.
I sill didn't get myself back, but believe me, it won't take too long.
This morning was not better than last night.
However, I have no time to cry.

Bringing myself back needs no tears.
I need to be strong...by myself.

---------------------------

Reading through the old post, I cry again and again.
But I have to stop it by myself.
I have to make my dream come true (if my time is still not run out) on my own.
But where, where can I start?
Love is just not enough.
I love dancing, but I need to be more strong.
Oh... wht can't love make me strong?